Tuesday, February 17, 2009

KNOTTY affair

Believe me I am damn serious when I say that I seriously wanted to write something serious this time. Something enervating, something that just pulls the real you from you and makes you the real…you know ..YOU. That’s why , this time I took time , and tried to write the real stuff. I would have written had that marriage not been attended by me. The marriage that fell on the lap of this earth on the ides of feb,gallows which seemed like aisle of the ecstacy. That marriage, what a marriage………
Anybody who has been a hosteller may forget everything about it but…..but the mess. That long hall with that so long table, with food that is beyond description, ‘coz you got to have to see the food to describe it. And the food in one word….is HIDEOUS. And living in such a world when somebody gets you an invitation of a marriage ….it’s like “PARTY TIME ..FOLKS”. Something like that happened to us, when Ronny brought to us the invitation of the a marriage of his distant relative. Immediately, the day was seen,The mess food was seen and the plan was sealed. Finally there were 5 of us who went out of the college gates like those “Mohabbatein” guys, not to love but to eat, eat till the tummy twitters.
A truck, a tempo and a 2 km walk was all needed to get to that marriage place. During our journey we were all dreamers, who dreamt of food, dreamt of good food, dreamt of great food, of … well, only food. So , we went there , we saw the place, and we just went on seeing. It was awesome, it had savaged our fantasies of food, of marriage as the grandeur was much ,much more than that. Ronny was a bit conscious , so he said as we were 5 in total,”2 first and then 3 after that.” The plans were followed and thus we entered.
As a mature guy I was attending a marriage for the first time. Normally it had been with parents, relatives and all meeting and asking ,”aapka ladkaa kya kar raha hai”, it was about half eaten plates, and yes, about Rs 101, Rs201, Rs 501,etc etc. This time it was different. Seriously ,no caustic affair this time. It was surreal.it was divine, more than that it was pure. It was like a pure mountain getting the river of our culture to flow through it. I was thinking about all this with French fries in one hand , cold drink on the other and a fab. remix of a song of Raaz 2 in the backdrop.
The DJ was absolutely rocking. Cool,no,they were kool remixes of some foot tapping songs. Those taps made us journey through the future and we started contemplating the plans of each other’s (5 of us) marriage. We were about to give birth to children when one “not so good” number broke loose our sojourn. For the first time I started believing in the magic of the sari. “What a wear maan”, was all my inner voice was echoing as that bride with scores of perfume poured over her passed by my side. No matter what was happening our Mission Food Court was on, every thing was , as a future software engineer was tested and then implemented.
Everything was just happening there. Don’t ask why, don’t ask when but it was happening. There was a sort of order in that grave disorder. There was tension in the faces which implicitly produced a sort of calmness. There was heavy make up somewhere but from somewhere inside that the simplicity was coming out somehow. Everything was happening in a complex unison as a dynamic change was nearby. It was a celebration ,to go one step furthur, step that was changing the phase changing the life,changing it all.
Thoughts , like this were coming and going, new crushes were made, destroyed on getting to know that they were married, songs went on and off, food though kept coming in. handing over that crisp 100 rupee note , and with a chilled bite of ice cream, we decided to move out and wait for 5-6 years(or more) to witness this eternal change.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

matter of an answer

That was perhaps the first time when I didn’t get a convincing answer of what this love, marriage, love marriage is all about. Bro’s wedding was the first time when I wanted to enquire about this thing which if put in poetic synchronization…would be something like this…

Love….a riddle…that makes you , me , everybody insane;

Love …an animal…that some greats did tame;

These days also,I am the same old stupid who hasn’t understood the meaning of those 2 lines( though I , myself am the composer of them). From that bombastic wedding to these unimaginable hostel nights, I have been, curious about this thing which some call an insect, some call poison, some even call it the reason for life, reason to live, to be more specific.

To tell you the truth, when I got admission to the engineering college, I vowed that I would emerge out to be a technical tank, out of which , bullets of equations, paradoxes, lemmas , will zoom and boom,24x7, but it s proved to be the slight opposite. Today in the third year I have been devoid of a tank, eventually, of those bullets too. What I have transformed into , is…. a plane, gliding through the clouds of relationships, thus increasing, all the more, my thirst and agony of knowing what isLOVE.

Avinaash , I still remember, was cuddled up in the blanket. He was my recently made friend and tp pass through the night I went to his room. His room partner , as soon as I entered, warned me “ Shhhhhhhh…..don’t disturb….talking”, I didn’t disturb him(c’mon I am that much of an obedient ), but yeah, kept on thinking, as to why, he was cuddled up in his bed. “Cheap cell phones….tch tch….”, I thought. Minutes later, the structure of that bed changed, and there emerged Avinaash, shining, fresh, as if, was taking a bath inside the blanket, and most importantly, with a Nokia 6600 in his hand, which instantaneously erased my apprehensions about him. Avinaash I knew was a bit different from the Avinaash I was discovering now , who was staring in the mirror, smiling, laughing in the middle, then came to me , hugged me, and finally spoke…” Great girl..maan”. I now, was, understanding the whole story.

That was the first idea of love to me, which was more of, blankets, and Nokia 6600. As I said , that this was my first one as , now in my sojourn as a “ would be engineer “, I saw many things. I saw those guys……..drifting away from Linkin Park to Roop Kumar Rathod. I saw “ facialled” faces every week, that great Rs 100 note was often observed by me, which was kept in the purse, with a longing that she would come once in the cafeteria and a maggi would be shared. So I started getting an idea of what this love was all about. “ It was fun”, I thought, “Though a bit expensive, (coffee and maggi all the times) , but c’mon”.

So days passed on, I had my idea of love intact, until one day, I heard that one pair(with maggi and coffee) was badly harassed, and abused. I was more surprised , on coming to know that the guy in action was , just days before, quite an ardous follower of this love. Now my definition began to dwindle a little. “How can the most beautiful thing in the world be harassed like that, this is not not done”. So, my confusion prevailed, until I found one of the most decent pairs in our campus. They were looking quite cajoled in themselves, and as I was staring them one voice came from behind,” abe in par comment mat karanaa , inkaa serious hai”. Instantaneously I got the new avatar of love. Simplicity with devotion, decency, and beauty that became love for me and that pair became God for me, until……Two weeks later that girl used to roam around aimlessly….by some searching I found out that that guy took him to a hotel room and……everything became serious. So another “Love Definition” which survived 2 weeks , finally died.

I was all confused now, from mobile phones, to cafeterias, to, hotel rooms, even chat rooms, every thing was tried and tested, and failed. So I developed my own theory…..that…ok I am nervous..but here it goes….love is a mixture…a homogeneous mixture , I guess not of souls, nor of bodies , but of thoughts. What you think, is what you do what you do ,is what you reflect, and that’s what makes a person fall for you. It’s that mental keenness towards each other that makes a relationship go ahead , boundlessly, thus letting love rise high.

But still I am confused, let’s see what happens when this happens to me….till then best of luck…to you and to me.