matter of an answer

That was perhaps the first time when I didn’t get a convincing answer of what this love, marriage, love marriage is all about. Bro’s wedding was the first time when I wanted to enquire about this thing which if put in poetic synchronization…would be something like this…

Love….a riddle…that makes you , me , everybody insane;

Love …an animal…that some greats did tame;

These days also,I am the same old stupid who hasn’t understood the meaning of those 2 lines( though I , myself am the composer of them). From that bombastic wedding to these unimaginable hostel nights, I have been, curious about this thing which some call an insect, some call poison, some even call it the reason for life, reason to live, to be more specific.

To tell you the truth, when I got admission to the engineering college, I vowed that I would emerge out to be a technical tank, out of which , bullets of equations, paradoxes, lemmas , will zoom and boom,24x7, but it s proved to be the slight opposite. Today in the third year I have been devoid of a tank, eventually, of those bullets too. What I have transformed into , is…. a plane, gliding through the clouds of relationships, thus increasing, all the more, my thirst and agony of knowing what isLOVE.

Avinaash , I still remember, was cuddled up in the blanket. He was my recently made friend and tp pass through the night I went to his room. His room partner , as soon as I entered, warned me “ Shhhhhhhh…..don’t disturb….talking”, I didn’t disturb him(c’mon I am that much of an obedient ), but yeah, kept on thinking, as to why, he was cuddled up in his bed. “Cheap cell phones….tch tch….”, I thought. Minutes later, the structure of that bed changed, and there emerged Avinaash, shining, fresh, as if, was taking a bath inside the blanket, and most importantly, with a Nokia 6600 in his hand, which instantaneously erased my apprehensions about him. Avinaash I knew was a bit different from the Avinaash I was discovering now , who was staring in the mirror, smiling, laughing in the middle, then came to me , hugged me, and finally spoke…” Great girl..maan”. I now, was, understanding the whole story.

That was the first idea of love to me, which was more of, blankets, and Nokia 6600. As I said , that this was my first one as , now in my sojourn as a “ would be engineer “, I saw many things. I saw those guys……..drifting away from Linkin Park to Roop Kumar Rathod. I saw “ facialled” faces every week, that great Rs 100 note was often observed by me, which was kept in the purse, with a longing that she would come once in the cafeteria and a maggi would be shared. So I started getting an idea of what this love was all about. “ It was fun”, I thought, “Though a bit expensive, (coffee and maggi all the times) , but c’mon”.

So days passed on, I had my idea of love intact, until one day, I heard that one pair(with maggi and coffee) was badly harassed, and abused. I was more surprised , on coming to know that the guy in action was , just days before, quite an ardous follower of this love. Now my definition began to dwindle a little. “How can the most beautiful thing in the world be harassed like that, this is not not done”. So, my confusion prevailed, until I found one of the most decent pairs in our campus. They were looking quite cajoled in themselves, and as I was staring them one voice came from behind,” abe in par comment mat karanaa , inkaa serious hai”. Instantaneously I got the new avatar of love. Simplicity with devotion, decency, and beauty that became love for me and that pair became God for me, until……Two weeks later that girl used to roam around aimlessly….by some searching I found out that that guy took him to a hotel room and……everything became serious. So another “Love Definition” which survived 2 weeks , finally died.

I was all confused now, from mobile phones, to cafeterias, to, hotel rooms, even chat rooms, every thing was tried and tested, and failed. So I developed my own theory…..that…ok I am nervous..but here it goes….love is a mixture…a homogeneous mixture , I guess not of souls, nor of bodies , but of thoughts. What you think, is what you do what you do ,is what you reflect, and that’s what makes a person fall for you. It’s that mental keenness towards each other that makes a relationship go ahead , boundlessly, thus letting love rise high.

But still I am confused, let’s see what happens when this happens to me….till then best of luck…to you and to me.